9.09.2016

Block Not--Do




There's something you've always wanted to do, right?

Maybe you have a list of things. Maybe you have one big crazy idea.

What's blocking you for doing that thing?

Is it timing? Money? Not being good enough?

Or is it fear?

I'm telling you today to block not--do.

Huh?

Hang on. It will make sense. Let me tell my story first:


I've had a pretty crappy self-esteem most of my life. I've come a long way though. While I've accomplished a lot, it's prevented me from really pursuing my dreams. The mental blocks of not being good/pretty/funny/smart/cool/ etc. enough have always stood in my way. 


About a month ago, I was contacted to speak on a panel about social media. I usually turn down speaking engagements and most events because I'm so shy. I'd fail. I'd be awful at this. They'd think I was ugly. They'd hear my accent and immediately think I'm an idiot. I've had to deal with those issues before in life. It's not easy and it hurts.

Those mental blocks I have can be a crutch. An excuse. Well, I was going to fail anyway, and now I didn't because I said no. But if I want to grow my blog like I do, I had to quit all of this negative talk and stop using my failures and issues as an excuse.

I needed a sign to tell me this was the right thing. But in my story, I got an actual sign.

On the drive back from school, both the 6 year old I nanny for and I were quiet. We just let the radio play and were lost in our own thoughts until she blurted out, "Block Not....Do."

What in the world? Sounds like something Yoda would say, right? I quickly realized what she was saying. We were driving over a sign painted on the pavement that said DO NOT BLOCK, but the way it was printed it read BLOCK NOT DO if you read it from top to bottom. Now I'd driven over that sign many times over the past few years, but hearing her say that aloud, it struck me. That was my sign. My literal sign. Don't let the blocks get in the way. Do the dang thing.



I decided to speak on the panel. When I announced I was doing it, I felt very little support. I announced it on my blog, on my Facebook. Crickets. I even had a blogger question why did they choose me? She wanted my info so she could ALSO be on the panel.

Not the best motivator. Maybe I should quit? I mean, look at the other panelists. They have hundreds of thousands of followers! They were all gorgeous. What could this shy girl with a Southern accent bring the to the table? As I sat there waiting to be called up to speak, I decided I would speak as little as possible.

Block not--do.



But this was my opportunity and I wasn't going to blow it. I thought of all of the women in my life--Mama, sisters, Grandmother, and late Granny Sugar--and that motivated me. I wore my brightest pink lipstick (if you saw my Ride or Die video then you know why I love pink).  I didn't want to let them down. I wanted to be a silent role model for those of us in the same boat as me. True--I'm not skinny. I have a big nose the internet loves to make fun of. I'm not in my 20s either and young. But I didn't amass followers on my social media over night. Most of them came from hard work and from connecting with people. I could do this.

When I went to speak into the microphone, my hand started shaking. I grabbed the mic with two hands. My voice was quiet. I skipped chiming in a lot of the answers. I do regret that.

Then I got asked specific questions. I couldn't hide.  I'd never be as pretty or as funny or as ____(insert adjective here) as the other panelists. But I could be me, and I had something to say. I opened up my mouth and instead of trying to hide my Southern accent like I normally do (if you've met me in person, my accent is even stronger), I let everything go, all of those blocks, and decided to be the real me.

I told them I was nervous. I made jokes about my accent. And while I like to think they were laughing with me, hearing their laughter made me relax. I wasn't speaking in some professional voice, trying to be all cool and whatnot. I was myself. I gained more confidence for every question I answered. Whenever I got on my mic, I saw phones go in the air to record what I was saying. I expected the audience to be on their phones texting or something, but no! People were interested in what I had to say.

I was doing this, y'all!

After when it was all over, the audience was invited to meet the panelists. I started to gather my stuff to leave. But I looked up and saw a line of people wanting to talk TO ME! Me? Me.

When I finally got to my car over an hour later from speaking to members of the audience, networking, and even taking selfies with them, I cried happy tears.

I did it. I did the dang thing. And now I want you to, too.

Block not--do.


53 comments:

  1. What a great story! Seriously, what a sign in the car. Good luck with more opportunities - I know they are headed your way!

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  2. You go girl! I'm really scared of public speaking as well, so the fact that you did the panel even though you were nervous is so inspirational! It just proves that sometimes we're the ones holding us back the most!

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  3. Congrats Elle!! Way to go to overcome your fears :)

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  4. My mom used to tell me there will always be someone "better" than you - smarter, prettier, richer, etc. But God made you the way you are to fulfill a specific task no one else can do. I remember that whenever I feel inadequate.

    Elle, you make beauty approachable. Sure I watch the beauty bloggers who stribe and bake, but I would never do that in my real life. It's just not realistic. But you educate and make all types of beauty accessible for all types of girls. That is special. That is a gift no one else can do. I'm not surprised you were asked for the panel!

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  5. I'm so happy that you went through with it all (and of course you killed that, that I would never have doubted) and also that you then reflected on it here. Sometimes I feel like everyone else is always so confident and put together and then I feel even worse when I get the occasional pang of anxiety or nervousness - there's a lot to be said for not feeling isolated.

    Courtney ~ Sartorial Sidelines

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  6. Isn't it funny how looking at that sign a different way changed the way you looked at EVERYTHING. How we need to look at things with fresh new perspective.
    I'd stand in line for an hour to meet you - no doubt!
    So proud of you for stepping outside of your comfort zone!!!

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  7. Good for you! As a deeply-shy person, I know this experience. Pushing through the fear is an amazing accomplishment. Be proud!

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  8. I am so glad to hear that you challenged yourself and you succeeded! Life is too short to second guess and shy away from incredible opportunities. I am so proud of you Elle!
    xo, Whitney and Blaire
    Peaches In A Pod

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  9. I know we only only know each other through our blogs, Elle, but really....am so proud of you and wish I can give you a hug IRL. You go, girl! And thank you for this inspiring post. XOXO

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  10. Yes!!!! Sometimes we must push our boundaries and do things we wouldn't normally do. And it feels good!

    Yiota
    Pinkdaisyloves.blogspot.com

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  11. This is awesome, Elle. Such an honor to be selected and you totally rocked it! I know how difficult public speaking is, I'm so shy too! But I think you're right, just be yourself because that's you! Also, I love your southern accent! Hope you have a fabulous weekend!

    xo, Rachel
    A Blonde's Moment

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  12. so proud of you for being brave and getting up there to conquer a fear! i mean speaking in front of anyone is just super scary if you ask me and you took that risk and believed in yourself and that's all that matters. also who doesn't love a southern accent? :) anyone would be a fool not to!

    xoxo cheshire kat

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  13. Love this post! And so so so proud of you for going to that speaking engagement! And what in the actual F is wrong with the blogger who commented and asked why they would choose you and tried to weasel her way in too. Gross!

    You are so inspirational, and deserve all the success that comes your way! Happy Friday <3
    Green Fashionista

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  14. So, so proud of you! What a huge accomplishment-- I'm not sure if you've read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, but a lot of this reminded me of it.

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  15. I am so happy and proud of you, Elle! Good on you for breaking out of your comfort zone, that's hard to do but now that you've done it, you know you're pretty much capable of doing whatever you put your mind to.

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

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  16. Elle, I'm so proud of you for going ouside your comort zone. I cheered for you with each passing paragraph. I think it's wonderful how well you did ♡♡♡

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  17. Such an empowering post and so happy that you decided to speak on the panel! It's so weird how life has its way of rewarding one when stepping out of the comfort zone. For better or worse, it takes so much energy and courage to say yes and sometimes it can take years to decide to do something! But thank you for sharing, this post makes me want to say yes to all things I'm afraid of in my life! Xx

    www.thefashionfolks.com

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  18. Thank you for the inspiration and reminder. You're also reminding us that you can be brave at any time. I love your accent and I'm sure this is just the beginning for you!

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  19. Good for you Elle! And thanks for sharing this. Public speaking doesn't come easy for most people so what you accomplished is pretty amazing!

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  20. Such a great post. I have self-esteem issues too that I continue to work on as they arise. It's a good reminder that most of us struggle with something and there is no need to let it stop us.

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

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  21. I love this!!! And I love that you had a literal sign! I always get in the way of my own success and have been working really hard to over come that. It is a tough struggle. I am like you, shy and feeling not good enough. But as I am reading what you are saying I am thinking wtf is Elle talking about? She is gorgeous and has a lot of things to say!!! I cant believe that some girl wanted your info so she could be on the panel and questioning why you were on it. What is wrong with people???? I am so proud of you for doing this because you belonged there among every one else!

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  22. This is an excellent story, Elle. I used to be super shy and never talk to anyone. One day, in my late teens, I just genuinely stopped caring. There's an Emma Watson quote I repeat to myself when I'm feeling a way about myself. It's "If not me who? If not now, when?" I think we ultimately defeat our inner selves by forcing ourselves out of our comfort zone and we are met with greater things on the other side of that fear. (:

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  23. That's so great and I am so happy for you Elle! I think alot of people have "BLOCKS" that prevent them from doing things in life. I myself being one of them. I can imagine getting the courage and motivation to actually do these things and complete goals in life is a great feeling of satisfaction. Hopefully, I can to get back some of the blocks I currently have from preventing me from some life and personal goals I have. Thanks for sharing this Elle!

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  24. This is such a great story!! I'm so proud of you. I think you are so great and have learned so much from you. And I love watching your snaps because I adore your accent. It's awesome and you are awesome! Thanks for sharing and thanks for the inspiration.

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  25. You my friend, are amazing! So proud of you! So glad you said YES!

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  26. This post is really inspiring and motivating! We all have those blocks. I don't think we'd be human if we didn't. I'm very proud of you, for not only doing something you were afraid of, but for also letting go and being yourself. I'm super shy too and hate public speaking so hearing this story makes me happy that you were able to do this. And also, I think your beautiful, funny, and I just happen to love your accent!

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  27. I love this story! So proud of you for overcoming your fears! It is funny how some things seem so daunting on the front end and after you look back and laugh and how fine it was. I love your accent, I think you are beautiful and don't let anyone dull your shine!

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  28. This is so inspiring, lady! It's so hard to get over fears.

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  29. So awesome that you did this...I followed along on social media. Go You!

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  30. What an incredible story and a sign from above. You sharing this just gave so many people the extra boost needed to accomplish one of their dreams. You are one brave lady with an incredible talent and so much awesome knowledge to share!

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  31. Congratulations! That is sooo amazing! I am someone who would totally let my fear/anxiety/insecurity get in the way of doing something like that.

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  32. Yay! I'm so glad that your speaking engagement turned out to be a positive experience. There's really nothing better that you can do for yourself or anyone else than be yourself. Being your true self and letting others see it is powerful and courageous. I wish I could have been there to hear you speak on the panel!

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  33. This is so inspiring! Yeah for you for pushing through your fears and speaking in the panel! I can totally believe you would have a line of people waiting to talk to you :)

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  34. Congrats on pushing your fear to the side and being able to speak on the panel. Have a great week.

    http://www.amysfashionblog.com/blog-home/

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  35. Well done! Well done! I absolutely HATE speaking in public, I hated presentations at work, exams.. anything! I still do! I know how it feels, so again, well done!

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  36. Long time reader, very infrequent commenter. Sorry about that! But I can't keep silent on this. If someone who has never met you can be allowed to say she's proud of you, I am. I first found your blog and started following it because of your reviews. We have similar skin tone and type, as well as and coloring, and I found that the products you recommend also work well for me. I even put "Ellesees reco" in my list when I go shopping! But over the past few years of following, as you've revealed your shyness, I have been impressed with your boldness, actually. I am not photogenic and at best, when I make an effort, can be considered good looking. I find you brave for posting videos, especially the ones sans makeup. I certainly don't have it in me to be that brave and am grateful that you do. Did I mention I regularly purchase and like products you recommend? Anyway, kudos to you for being brave enough in the first place to put yourself out there. And for continuing to push yourself to public speaking. I'm sure you'll be great. Just don't try to hide that southern accent. It's the best!

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  37. I do remember the panel and when you wrote "think of me, send me good vibes" on facebook and you are so right - grab the mic with two hands, be yourself, talk about what you know - you did it and it's such a great accomplishment! You don't have to be funny like other panelists, just yourself, cause you are sweet, caring and you know a lot! I agree, we can do all we want, we are able to, we just need to believe!
    DenisesPlanet.com

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  38. Thanks for the motivation! We definitely need a lot more of that in our world. So awesome that everyone waited to speak with you personally. That must have been an amazing feeling :)

    http://www.thebeautybeau.com

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  39. What is blocking me? Having two toddlers to take care of full time. I love my kiddos.. but damn. It is hard to do things I want to for myself most of the time... - http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com

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  40. What is blocking me? Having two toddlers to take care of full time. I love my kiddos.. but damn. It is hard to do things I want to for myself most of the time... - http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com

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  41. You are so speaking to me. I'm the same way. I've always let the "what if" fear hold me back. Like you, I've come a long way though. After years of wanting to start a blog, I finally did. I didn't for the longest time because I was worried about what people would think, who would read it, etc., but I'm so glad I did. I've been reading your blog for a while and I know you've talked about self-esteem, shyness, etc. before so I know this was a huge step for you. I'm so proud and you inspire me every day! Let me just say I CAN'T BELIEVE someone said that. I wish I lived closer because I would have gone. This is only the beginning for you!

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  42. Girl - I am so proud of you! Rock on! You are beautiful . . . inside and out! If girls, or anyone, are trying to break you down . . . it's on them and their self esteem - not you! So glad you had a fabulous experience . . . this made me smile!

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  43. Life is way to short to second guess hun, super proud of you :) xx

    www.fashionjazz.co.za

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  44. That is so awesome Elle and I'm glad you did the panel. It seemed like you enjoyed yourself and let go of that fear.

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  45. CONGRATULATIONS! It's fantastic, you must be so proud! It's an awesome achievement, and you'll have many more opportunities to to share your knowledge in the future.
    As for your accent and your physical features, they're beautiful and charming, and the people who criticize them only do so because of their own insecurities. Forgive them, for they must be suffering a lot to be so mean.

    Beaumiroir

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  46. This just got me teary eyed. GO YOU GIRL! It can be SO SO hard to overcome a fear, but doing it is oh so rewarding! So proud of you for going ahead with it and rocking it. That is just so amazing. High five!

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  47. what a great story. I don't think I could speak in front of people. It is hard enough to do it in front of my own worker's and I see them every day.

    I have the same insecurities as you, probably for the same reasons except the accent part. I honestly would have never thought you were any of those adjectives for you, truly.

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  48. That's awesome! Good for you for facing that fear!

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  49. Reading this post made me tear up. I am not only so happy for you but I am also so inspired by you and your hard work. I have been and will continue to look forward to your posts! Thank you for sharing with us!

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  50. Girl, I had no idea! I thought you spoke on panels all the time - didn't realize you were so shy because you don't come across that way at all!! That's amazing that you conquered your fears and went for it! Never let you hold yourself back from success when you clearly deserve it!!

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  51. Good for you Elle! What an inspiration you are. I am very much like you and hide a lot. I avoid most events because I feel so shy and anxious. The only one I've been to is the Cosmo Blog Awards because I knew I would regret it so much if I didn't! You are such a gorgeous person on the inside and out and I love what you do. I hope your confidence continues to grow. xxxxx

    ♥ Carly Susanne ~ A Beauty & Lifestyle Blog

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  52. you freaking go girl! i'm sorry that you didn't feel you got a lot of support when you announced being on the panel - i had no idea it wasn't something you did regularly. low self esteem sucks and impacts so many areas of your life, i hope you are able to continue overcoming it and being your awesome self!

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  53. Speaking in public has always been so hard for me! Glad you did it! You looked great in that bright lipstick! You go you!!! Xo

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