My Daddy died three months ago.
And when someone close passes away, you make a list in your mind of those holidays and events you will no longer have together. The first Father's Day without him is going to be tough.
But in honor of him, in honor of dads everywhere,
here are some things they might really want instead.
Or maybe these "gifts" are just what I wanted.
alternate link: http://youtu.be/4gJUkrbavFs
A Picture of Just The Two of You
I wish I had more recent pics of just us. All of mine are either of us when I was a baby or with family. You don't have to get formal--be silly, be serious (some dads don't smile and that's okay), be you. Put your arms around each other's shoulders and get that pic. He's proud of you, you know. He'll appreciate it and you will too after he's gone.
Talk to Him
At my Daddy's memorial service, I had so many strangers come up to me and tell me stories about him. I'd never heard these stories and saw how he was so many things to so many people. I immediately felt like I didn't know him at all.
Spend Time One on One
I live 5 hours from my family and usually see them on holidays or special occasions. Therefore, most of my time spent with my Dad was with the whole family. If we were alone, he was always asking about me. I wish we could have spent more time together, just the two of us.
We tend to call our dads for help, like to fix something broken in the house, but when do we hang out with them just to be with them? When are we doing what he wants instead of us wanting something from him? Hang out with him. It doesn't have to be a big production. If your dad's not a talker, that's okay. Just sitting there watching tv or doing something he loves will mean a lot.
Make Amends...if you can, and if you need to
Every situation is different BUT if it's something you've considered, take a tiny step in that direction. Get that dialogue started. Just think about it.
I'm lucky that I had a good relationship with my father, but it wasn't as I wanted. Don't get me wrong--my Daddy was an awesome guy. He was kind, always listened and gave advice, very, very smart, and was hilarious. The room lit up when he walked in, but he never had to be the center of attention. He was so incredibly handsome. But his death by liver cancer was caused by the way he lived his life, from his choices. It was always the elephant in the room. I wish I had talked to him about it, to have peace and just an understanding, instead of looking for that after his death.
So in addition to those silly socks, the snazzy ties, or the grilling paraphernalia,
think about giving him one of these "gifts" too.
If you have a dad, give him a hug. Give him a call. Tell him you love him.
I wanted to wish a Father's Day to all the men who have served as father figures in my life, like my uncles and especially my step-dad. I love you.
I am taking the rest of the week off for a beach trip--I'll be sharing my adventures on my Instagram, so I hope you follow along. See y'all Monday. Be safe, behave, and be well. Love, Elle