3.09.2015

Please Read

One week ago, I was given the news that my Daddy had cancer and had six months to live. I was hesitant to share this information because I'm a private person and generally deal with struggles by myself. I prefer to be the strong one for others to lean on.

I was also hesitant because I had a hair tutorial posted and the comments were "have a great weekend!" Really? That's the only thing you could think to comment? Nothing on the post at all? It made me want to draw up, shut myself off, and not tell anyone my devastating news. Who would care anyway?

I was so, so wrong. I shared the news because I knew we needed all the prayers we could get. I finally admitted I couldn't handle this alone. And I was absolutely shocked and humbled by your amazing support from prayers, kind thoughts, and precious offers. I have no words for the gratitude I feel. You are amazing people.

Unfortunately, my dad's prognosis of six months didn't come to fruition. He made it just one week after learning he had cancer and passed away two hours after I arrived this weekend. He was only 59. We are shocked and are still processing everything. I cannot believe he was gone in a week. I thought we had more time.

It was downhill so, so fast. Although I am extremely sad about it, I am comforted that he didn't suffer for long and is no longer suffering. I plan on writing a post on him very soon. You would have loved him.

I felt so alone at first, I admit, but thanks to your kind comments, emails, and messages, I realize I'm not alone. Many of you shared your stories of parental loss. You are now my sisters. Again, I cannot thank every single one of you for everything. I truly mean that. Please believe me when I tell you I feel the love from you. My heart is full.

  • Blog-wise you will find pre-written posts this week. I had anticipated spending lots of time with my Daddy so I wrote my posts ahead of time. I wanted to explain this so it didn't seem like I wasn't being genuine when you see this post and then tomorrow's which will be my regular type of posts. I hope that made sense.


  • Also, when I learned he was sick, I had anticipated driving five hours every weekend to see my Daddy, so I signed on for several sponsored posts so I could use the money to fund my trips. I normally allow myself one sponsored post a month, so I hope you don't mind seeing them temporarily more frequently here and on my social media.
Thank you for reading and being understanding. -Elle

100 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss Elle. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

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  2. Dearest Elle, words aren't enough, you'll b hearing this a lot and will get tired of it soon enough, but I'm truly sorry for your loss to the point I have tears in my eyes right now typing this. Loosing a parent is damn hard and I pray you and your family stay strong and united during this time. Remember all the good times always and forever! Infinite X's and O's for you, wish I could hug u but this virtual hug will have to do.

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  3. My thoughts are with you and your family Elle. Xx

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  4. Whoa. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family all the best throughout all of this.

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  5. Elle, I've never commented here before but I saw this post and I just had to say how truly sorry I am. I broke down in to tears as I read this and I want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. <3

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  6. Oh no I'm so sorry sweetie, this is awful. I'm so heart broken for you and I will be praying for you and your family. Like you said I'm happy you're daddy is no longer suffering. You are so strong to be able to write this.

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  7. A million hugs for you and your family, Elle. RIP to your father. I lost my father to the exact the same cancer your dad had. Thoughts and prayers for you (((hugs)))

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  8. Oh Elle. I am so incredibly sorry to hear about the loss of your father. It's definitely unfair and devastating that he was taken from you way too soon but I'm glad you got to spend a little bit of time with him before he passed and you're right, at least he didn't spend months suffering. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and don't worry about the blogging world, we'll all be here for you when you're ready to get back at it and in the mean time the we all appreciate the posts you took the time to schedule.

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  9. I am so very sorry for your loss Elle. It is true, that it is better for him to not be in pain, but that doesn't take away you wanting to spend more time with him. I hope you are surrounded by family this week and can lean on each other for strength. My thoughts are with you.

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  10. I was so very sad to hear about your Dad, Elle. It takes a lot to share hard times like this, but you are loved and supported.

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  11. I am so sorry Elle! I'm heartbroken that things went downhill so fast and you didn't get to spend as much time with him as you wanted. But it's better that he is not suffering and you have so many happy memories to look back at. I'm sending prayers to your family!

    Jill
    Doused In Pink

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  12. so sorry for your loss. xo

    xoox, Preeti
    www.ninesto5.com

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  13. I am so sorry Elle. From everything you wrote, it sounds like he was an amazing man and the three of you loved each other very much. I'm thinking of you and your sister.

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  14. I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your loss! I cannot imagine the pain you are going through right now. I am so happy that you were able to see him one last time and be with him as he passed away. The kind of comfort you gave him helped so much I am sure. I will be thinking and praying for you and your family as you remember the good times with him and begin the grieving and healing process!

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  15. Elle, we are so sad to hear of the passing of your father. Our prayers and thoughts are with you. I hope that the memories of him bring you comfort during this difficult time. Hugs from Georgia.
    xo,
    Whitney and Blaire

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  16. I am so deeply sorry for your loss - I can't even begin to imagine how you begin to process something as sudden and sad as that but I know that you are a strong and resilient person and that you will always cherish your father's memory. Again, I'm just really sorry for your loss.

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  17. My heart aches for you, Elle. I'm sorry for your loss. We never have enough time with our loved ones. 59 is way too early to leave.

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  18. My heart goes out to you Elle. I'm sending lots of hugs to you and your family.

    Spend time with each other and do whatever you need to do.

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  19. Elle, thank you so much for sharing. My heart goes to you and your family. You are right- he didn't have to suffer long. I am praying for your family.

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  20. I'm so sorry for your loss. Best wishes and prayers to you and your family. xo

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  21. Oh, Elle, I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you and your family as you deal with awful tragedy so early in life. I am praying for grace and peace for y'all. Sending you love and a 'virtual' hug! <3

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  22. Elle, so very sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Praying for your family right now. -- Rachel

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  23. So very sorry to hear you lost your dad. Praying for you.

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  24. I am so sorry for your loss Elle. If you need anything at all I'm here for you. My prayers and thoughts are with you an your family.

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  25. This made me tear up. I already said all I could, I think. Just know we are all thinking about you, and as you said, you are not alone.

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  26. So terribly sorry for your loss!! Thinking of you and your family during this time! xo, Biana

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  27. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family Elle for your loss. Sending you love and strength.

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  28. I'm very sorry for your and your family's loss, Elle. I'm glad you were able to be there for your Dad this weekend. That's so important that you were there. And, as you said, it's comforting to know that he didn't suffer for long. I understand that you must be shocked, trying to process everything....take your time with it, and please know that we are all here for you. Lots of love from Buenos Aires xx

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  29. Elle, I am so very sorry. I do not have a father, and I have thankfully never lost anyone close to me so I cannot imagine how you are feeling. I wish I could say or do something to make it better, I know I can't. Sending virtual hugs, and thinking about you and your family xxx

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  30. Elle, I'm so sorry to hear about your father. Take time for you and your family, and know that he's not suffering any longer. Thinking about you! <3 <3

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

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  31. So sorry for your loss. I hope you can find comfort in your family and friends during a time like this. Sending prayers your way!

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  32. I've been thinking about you a lot. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Sending lots of virtual hugs.

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  33. I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is never easy and I can't imagine losing a parent. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family!!!

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  34. Oh my god I am so sorry for your loss! Losing a loved one is never easy, and the only thing I can honestly wish you is for you to spend as much time with your family as you can! They are most probably the only thing that really helps
    May you know no more sorrow! Wish you all the best!

    Allie | RainyAllie

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  35. I'm so sorry Elle. The news is very shocking. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts. This is a very important time for you all. I can't imagine the pain you are all going through. That being said, I am so glad that you made it in time to see him before his passing. xoxo

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  36. I am so sorry for your loss, Elle, I wish I have the right words to comfort you but I don't. Sending my thoughts and prayers to you and family. Hugs xx

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  37. So sorry for your loss Elle. I can't believe that things all of that happened so fast -- thinking of you and your family and sending you lots of love and prayers. xo jillian

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  38. Oh Elle, I am so incredibly sorry. Writing sorry in a blog comment seems so inadequate. My heart is with you and I'm praying for you and your family.
    Please don't give a second thought to the blog posts you've planned. We will read them and love them, as always, and if you don't have one planned and don't feel like posting, know that we will understand that too. Yes, we love your blog, but we love YOU too, so take care of yourself.

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  39. So sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Its never easy, but I hope that you find some comfort to know that he isn't suffering. We know you will be back but make sure you take care of YOU and take some time for YOU. We will always be here :)

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  40. Dear Elle... I am so so so sorry it happened... and now, not even giving the chance of being for a longer time with him... I am really so so sorry... I cannot tell you how much I feel sad for that, no words are good enough in a moment like this, and I am sincere. I cannot help, but feeling that when you write someone writes "Have a good weekend", that is for me, because I always wish a good weekend from the bottom of my heart when I write that, and the hair I wear that style too. But now clarifying it again, I understand about the blog sponsored posts and I agree with you, and believe me, if someone doesn't like to see them, not worth your thoughts. Leave the person. What you need now is your family with you, your friends, loving words, support. Your feelings will be now confusing and you need to listen to them and give yourself time. Anger, sadness, gratitude, all mixed. It's tough, but now you will see who your real friends are and who is not. I am sure you are grateful for the love he gave to you and as a friend told me once, who were in the same situation: "when we miss our fathers so much, it's a sign that they have accomplished their task in a great way". It's true. But they are not gone. They live through us. And living is what we owe to them. So take your time, I know I may sound pretentious and you have many friends, but if you want to share your thoughts, count one me. I hope you and your family find comfort in each other, and see the blessing of having known such a lovely person.

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  41. Really sorry to hear about your loss Elle.. this is a space that nobody can fill...You have to come out stronger from this emotional phase in your life..you have my support and prayers..xoxo

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  42. Elle: I am so sorry for your loss! I want to hug you and send you lot´s of Love! You are in my thoughts!

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  43. Oh sweet friend :( I am so sorry for your loss. There is never enough time when it comes to stuff like this and I can only imagine how hard this is for your family right now. I am sending you prayers and hugs.

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  44. This was the last thing I was expecting to read today. I couldn't begin to express how sorry I am. My heart aches for you. No one should ever have to go through something like that. No one blames you about taking time for yourself. We will be here when you get back. People who love reading won't forget about you. Also don't apologize for doing sponsored posts. You did what you had to, you are a strong woman. Much love and support. <3

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  45. I'm so so sorry elle. I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I'm sorry for everything you and your family are going through right now. I'm sending lots of prayers and love your way. I lost my grandma last week too, but I can't imagine losing a parent. Your in my heart and prayers right now, and lots of virtual hugs to you!

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  46. I am so, so sorry for your loss Elle, I'm glad you made it in time to see him and I will be praying for you and your family and send you strength for the days to come. Much love to you!

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  47. Oh Elle I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm glad you were able to see him before passing. You and your family will be in my prayers and thoughts. Cancer is such a horrible disease and has affected so many people in my family :( *massive hugs* xxxxxx

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  48. Elle,

    I am so beyond sorry. I know words cannot even help, but I will try. I have so enjoyed getting to know you through blogging and my heart is just breaking right now. Please know that every thought on my mind is with you and I am sending you prayers and strength for you and your family. I can't wait to read about him!! He sounds like an amazing man.

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  49. Elle, I'm so so sorry to hear about the passing of your dad. My heart is absolutely breaking for you and your family during this devasting time. I'm praying for strength and peace for you and your family for the next couple of tough months.

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  50. Elle, I am so so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how difficult it is to process given how quickly it all happened. Please know you will be in my thoughts, I think all readers would agree when I say take all the time you need to be with family, friends and to celebrate your father. I look forward to learning more about him when you are reading to share.

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  51. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss! You and your family are in my prayers.

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  52. So sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  53. Oh my goodness... I am so sorry... how devastating.
    Praying for your family....

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  54. I am so terribly sorry for your loss, Elle. You and your family are in my heart.

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  55. Hiya Elle. First off, I'm so sorry for missing you previous post and video concerning this devastating news. I haven't been able to visit for a little while. I've never lost a parent so I cannot pretend to know what you are going through. A few years ago, I did lose my grandfather who basically helped raise me. My earliest memories of life are with him. I was heart broken. My deepest condolences for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts. xo

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  56. Oh dear Elle, my condolences and prayers to you and your family! May God bless and comfort you all! Be strong, lovely!

    http://whattostyle.blogspot.com

    xoxo,
    Jessica

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  57. Things happened so quickly that I didn't know the full story until just recently. I am so, sorry for your loss. I have two close friends who both lost their fathers to brain tumors. I'm praying for y'all and a cure to this awful disease. A big hug to you from Charleston. xx

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  58. I am so sorry and know that you are in shock and will be for some time. Please just know that you will be able to make it through your grief journey. Take care of yourself. Prayers for you and your family.

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  59. I'm so sorry, Elle. I can't even imagine how hard it was to get the news and then how fast his passing came. But you are right when you say he didn't suffer. I'm thinking of you and your family!

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  60. I am so sorry for your loss, Elle. I hope you and your family find some peace during this difficult time. xoxo Lauren

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  61. First off - I'm so sorry for your loss. Cancer is just a - you know what. My dad battled a skin cancer for a long time, and it was treacherous to watch him go through that and go through all the battles that he did with fighting cancer. Some people say it's easier for them to just go quickly so that they don't feel the pains that are most definitely attached with cancer whether you are going through chemo or letting it take over your body and have the possibility of having physical manifestations of it - as my dad did in more ways than one. And then you have us daughters on the other hand that have some what of a selfish thing in the back of our heads that just want to hold on for a little while longer, right? My dad was 61 when he passed and I was 22 (28 now). I was his sole caregiver and it took everything in me to take that on. I envy you in certain ways, as I'm sure you might envy the time I had - but our dads are both now in better places - without pain and that is the MOST IMPORTANT thing! There was this poem that really helped me and I hope it helps you too.... http://www.iviememorial.com/Now.html

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  62. Oh Elle...my heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry for your loss <3 Please don't feel you have to apologize for anything you do with the blog! Take your time to heal and remember your Dad, and know we'll all be thinking of you and sending our love your way!

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  63. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Thank you for sharing this personal post.

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  64. Oh, Elle. I am so, so sorry. I can only imagine what you and your family are going through, and I am praying for you all during this difficult time. I hope that you can find some solace and peace.

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  65. Sweet Elle, I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for you and I am sending you and your family prayers, hugs and love <3

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  66. I'm so sorry you are grieving right now. Loss of a loved one is a terrible thing, especially when you are so close to them. I will be thinking of you and your family.

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  67. So sorry for your loss. I am thinking good thoughts for you and your family.

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  68. Elle my heart breaks with you and for you. I know loss and I also know sudden loss and it isn't easy. As I type this, it is March 10th exactly one year since my sister passed away. I am sending my sincerest thoughts with you today Elle. Know that i understand and if you EVER need an ear or anything please do not hesitate to let me know. Prayers to you and your loved ones. Hugs

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  69. I'm so sorry for your loss. please know you're in my thoughts

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  70. So sorry to hear your sad news my thoughts and prayers are with you. Big hugs only time is a healer x

    Sarah

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  71. Prayers go out to you and your family, I am sorry for your loss.
    Rachel xo
    Garay Treasures

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  72. I am so sorry for your loss. thoughts are with your family during this tough time. cherish the memories you have with your father.

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  73. I am so very sorry for your loss and thinking and praying for you and your family to get through this tough time. Sending you big hugs.

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  74. I am so sorry to read this heartbreaking news. Please know that I am offering up prayers in honor of you, your dad, and the rest of your family and friends. Death of a loved one is so hard, but I hope that you have the comfort of knowing you will at some point be reunited. I lost a loved one recently to breast cancer, and for me it is a comfort knowing she is now fully healed. But that comfort did not begin until my heart began to heal. Prayers and big hugs for you!

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  75. I'm so sorry Elle <3 thinking of you & sending my prayers!

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  76. I am so sorry for your loss <3

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  77. So sorry for your loss Elle. You and your family are in my prayers.

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  78. I'm so sorry for your loss Elle. You're in my thoughts.

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  79. So sorry for your loss. I'm send my prayer and hugs your way.

    www.amysfashionblog.com

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  80. Again girl, so sorry for your loss. All weekend long I was thinking of you! Sending you and your family lots of strength and hugs!!!

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  81. Oh, I am so sorry! You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you hugs.

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  82. Thinking of you. I really can't believe he died so quickly. I guess the doctors never really do know. I'm glad he didn't suffer. I hope you and your family can find peace in that. There really are no words to help but with time hopefully things will get a little easier again. I look forward to reading more about him. Sharing about him may be very helpful as you grieve!.

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  83. Elle, I am so so sorry. I can't imagine how devastating this must be. I am praying for you and your family. *hugs*

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  84. Elle, I just watched your video on YouTube--where you shared the news of your father's diagnosis--and an hour later learned from your Instagram post about your loss. So very, very sorry you did not have more time with him. Hugs and prayers to you and your family. T.

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  85. Oh Elle! I am so so very sorry for your loss. He must have been an absolutely wonderful man to have raised such a woman like yourself. Cancer is so awful and I had to watch someone I loved very much suffer for years before passing, I'm so glad that he did not have to endure that torture. My thoughts are with you and your family and I hope that you're able to find comfort and peace with each other. Love & hugs xoxoxoxo

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  86. I am so so sorry. I wish you'd gotten more time to spend with your dad. 59 is far too young, but like you said it's also good that he didn't suffer. I completely understand about the sponsored posts. Wish I could give you a hug in person!
    ~Sara

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  87. Elle, there just aren't enough words. I'm so sorry for your loss and the devastating speed with which it happened. Sending you and your family love, strength and prayers. -Peach

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  88. Oh my dear, I'm thinking of you and your family. Please let me know if I can do anything to help

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  89. I am so sorry to see this sad news as I try to catch up with reading blogs I haven't had the chance to visit in months. My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family. May your beautiful memories bring you peace & comfort during this difficult time~

    always, koru kate

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  90. Elle, I'm so extremely sorry for you loss. I'm praying for you and your family. Please keep your head up and that beautiful smile on your face. xo

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  91. I am so sorry for your loss Elle, I know you guys have to be heartbroken! You all are absolutely in my prayers, let us know if you need anything!!!

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  92. I'm really sorry about your loss Elle. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Big hugs! xxx

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  93. I just read this, and I am so sorry. This is terribile. I am glad you spent time with your nieces and nefews. Kids can bring much solace to a sad heart. Hugs.

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  94. I just read this, and I am so sorry. This is terribile. I am glad you spent time with your nieces and nefews. Kids can bring much solace to a sad heart. Hugs.

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  95. Dearest Elle, I just came to know about your loss through your instagram post today and wanted to give you a big hug. I'm so sorry for your loss and can't even imagine how tough this time must be for you and your family. But just like you said, he is in a better place now and it's good that he did not suffer. My heart goes out to you and your family.

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  96. Oh my gosh Elle. I am so so so so sorry for your loss. I know that words can't really fix anything or bring you a lot of comfort but please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. If there is anything at all that I can do please do not hesitate to let me know! Sending you lots of love. xoxo - Ash (The Grits Blog)

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  97. Oh honey, I don't know how I missed this! I am so sorry for your loss. I hate that I missed it at the time. I'll be praying for you and your family!

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  98. wow, elle....that was quick. i'm sorry for your loss. hugs to you and your family.

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  99. I am so sorry for your loss, sweetheart. I hope you are doing okay, and I'm glad your precious father is no longer suffering. Much love and strength to you as you and your family mourn your loss. Sending you love.

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