11.19.2014

On Why I'll Never Be A Cool Blogger

To be read with a sense of humor. :)

I was having a discussion with a new acquaintance, and as those things go, the topic of employment came up. I mentioned I'm a nanny and a beauty blogger. And once I explained what a blogger is, specifically a beauty one, I got asked about the name of my blog.

"Elle Sees...I've never heard of it."

To which I awkwardly blurted out, "It's because I'm not cool."

Let me explain. Yes, it's true and I'm convinced it's why I don't have more followers, despite the beauty knowledge I have. Today I'm sharing 100% TRUE STORIES that have happened to me at blogging events:

Cool bloggers are young, gorgeous, and are a size negative 0. They often are found holding Starbucks (I need some as I write this), wearing an expensive ensemble, and looking slightly to the left with a mischievous smile. They look like they just came from a magazine editorial shoot (they probably did). I am in awe. Cue amazing hair flip:


Then there's me. I arrive about an hour late to the event because of my day job. Usually I have to change my pants and shoes in the car. I always wear black pants because they're great at hiding stains. Everything is from Old Navy or Target--no fancy expensive stuff here. Today, I brought burgundy pants (#trendy color for fall) and actually have time to change in a public restroom. I get the pants on and then slip on the wet floor from a leaky toilet. I now have black wet spots on the back of my burgundy pants. I want to hide. I instead immediately tell everyone on Facebook:

I have also slipped and fallen during the local news before. #sexy
I have baby food on my shirt. I find a leaf in my hair from playing outside with the 5 year old--remove. I find Legos in my purse--keep. I want to leave. I take a deep breath since I have social anxiety, and walk in, failing at not looking nervous:

There's a wardrobe malfunction coming. Keep reading.

I have Resting B**** Face, so I smile at all times not to look mean and look approachable (if we meet in person, please talk to me! I swear I'm nice). Sometimes I'll instantly see other bloggers I am friends with to talk to. If not, someone usually comes up to me and introduces herself. She tells me her blog name and I recognize her, but once she says she loves my blog and that she follows me on Instagram, I get embarrassed, I can't remember anything, and I always blank out (with a smile):


Oh, and all conversations with people always happen when I am eating, so I try to be cool but realize later that I look like this:

Hi, I'm Elle.
There's a celeb guest that comes up to me. I have the craziest celeb encounters. When I get 2000 followers, I'll tell you my Lil Wayne story. Anyway, I try to make small talk and attempt to take a bite of my dessert with powdered sugar, which I end up somehow blowing all over her like this:


I've also had food go flying and drinks spill on others. Let's skip ahead. It's now nearing the end of the night. I'm in a group of fellow bloggers and it's going well. I'm actually talking! I think they like me! I'm spouting off my best beauty tips, proving my beauty knowledge, that I'm legit. And then I look down and see this:


Yes, all of the following have happened to me mid-conversation: cupcake icing in hair, food in teeth, lost earring, broken nail, necklace breaking in half, double-stick tape exposed, double-stick tape in my hair, things popping out, body parts revealing themselves, and the worst--my period starting right then and there. I'll definitely never be a cool blogger, but at least I can laugh at myself. That's cool, right? And my hair and makeup will be on point!

And who knows, maybe one day I'll walk in and look like this:

Hi. I'm Elle.

93 comments:

  1. Thank you! Your blog looks so great and perfect and happy. Its just such a relief that you're normal like me! :-) I guess I can actually be a blogger even though I'm so not perfect. I'm sure that came out really weird, but seriously, this post is awesome!

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  2. This post is definitely a funny one, and I think it is great that you are so open and honest. I've never noticed frosting or leaves in your hair when we've met, and I think you are pretty cool!
    xo, Whitney and Blaire
    Peaches In A Pod

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  3. This post cracked me up! I know that I always get nervous at blogger events too (in fact, I'm attending another one tonight)...and yes, I've wiped out in public before as well, haha.

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  4. Hahaha...Elle, we're exactly alike (which is why I never go anywhere:P). You just keep being who you are, my dear. That's why we keep coming back here.:) XOXO

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  5. My my goodness! This was hilarious to read, but I am so sorry you had all those mishaps! I don't know if I'll ever be able to go to a blogger event now! ;)

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  6. LOL awesome. cool blogger or not, i love your posts. they're always so informative!!

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  7. Oh my goodness. All in one day?! Big events always make me nervous too and I am far from perfect. Everything that can go wrong usually does. I like that you are normal and honest and not some amazon model that seems unapproachable.

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  8. Amusing. We're all flawed human beings. The cool kids just hide it better.

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  9. I am totally not a cool blogger, either, but we're all just doing our own thing here and that is what makes us special.

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  10. You are cool too all of us! We can be cool in different ways. Most importantly, you are helpful, warm, and keep it real. Stay true and stay cool!

    xoxo,
    little luxury list formerly Chic 'n Cheap Living

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  11. I'm not going to lie... this sounds exactly like something that would happen to me! And don't worry, if I ever get the pleasure of going to the same event as you I promise BRF or not (I have it to... it's tough) I'll approach you and chat it up because I would love to meet you in person!

    <3, Pamela
    sequinsandseabreezes.blogspot.com

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  12. hahah well i love that you dont take yourself too seriously! but i disagree -- you ARE cool bc you are a sweet person and that goes a long way in my opinion! xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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  13. hahah well i love that you dont take yourself too seriously! but i disagree -- you ARE cool bc you are a sweet person and that goes a long way in my opinion! xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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  14. Oh these are all so funny and I've had almost every one of them happen to me...except for the lil wayne encounter LOL!

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  15. I love your sense of humor! You are amazing, because of all these funny aspects!

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  16. I thought I was the only one spazzing out during events. I'm very socially awkward and I have a tendency to blurt out whatever comes into my mind. lol. And don't worry about being cool or whatnot, I think you're awesome in your own way.
    (^o^)

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  17. Ah hahahah! I think you're cool. Maybe because those things happen to me too? And I have bitchy resting face so we're already in a sorority all of its own.

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  18. Haha love all the graphics in this post! No one is perfect, we're all just humans!

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  19. Hahaha what a great read. Such an entertaining post, was that really you in that meme slipping on ice??? It's okay, I've done all these things too!

    DiscoverMe

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  20. I prefer a real blogger over a cool blogger any day!!

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  21. Bahahahahahahahahaha!!! I love this! Girl you are so cool don't worry!! I swear all of this would happen to me too and I totally have RBF that's why I have to have a stupid smirk in every picture or it just looks like I'm about to murder you ha!

    <3 Shannon
    Upbeatsoles.blogspot.com

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  22. We would totally be friends if I lived there! I appreciate your blog because it's genuine, not full of fluff and you offer so many practical ideas. Keep being yourself!

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  23. I love that you keep it real. Those other fashion and beauty bloggers may be what's "trendy" but you surpass them with your writing skills. Never be ashamed of who you are. You could rock some fancy sweater or just something you picked up at Target and I'd still be right here reading every word. It's not the "stuff" that brings me back. It's the person. (:

    http://accordingtokiki123.blogspot.com/

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  24. Um, this just made me love you even more. And I'm pretty sure I'm not a cool blogger either. And the fact that you even go to blogger events scores you lots of points already. If I met you in person, we'd totally be friends... we'd chat with food in our teeth and baby vomit on our clothes and it'd be great! :)

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

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  25. Seriously as if I could not love you more! This is amazing and I feel like I could have written it myself!

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  26. you are hilarious. I am very awkward and clumsy so I always spill things on people or myself.

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  27. LMAO! Oh Elle, I know it's far from funny when all these unfortunate events happened to you but reading it made me laugh so hard. Thank you so much for sharing and please know you're not alone in this. I have successfully got myself into the most embarrassing situations too but hey, like you said, we have the ability to laugh about it. This makes me love you more, you're just AMAZING! Big hug! xx

    Reflection of Sanity

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  28. Hahaha oh no Elle! This was hilarious because of the humorous way your wrote and the GIFS! But not funny because it actually happened!
    Your conversation with your acquaintance is very relatable. "So, what do you do?" "How?"... And I don't even know what to say. Sometimes I feel it's easier to leave that bit out about me. How can something so fun and happy for me be so embarrassing? (WELL NOW I HAVE TO WRITE A POST ON THIS.. Hahah)... I admire those who break away from that size 4, starbucks (well, can't break away from that...) glamazon beauty-rep and head in their own direction. I hope to find one day that "being yourself" is COOL. Anyone who doesn't fit the beauty-blogger-mold is truly a rockstar.

    Much Love,
    -Stephanie Eva

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  29. I started following you Elle because you are real and personable. You are someone I want to learn beauty tips from and someone I would like as a friend in real life. I love real life bloggers and you are amazing at what you do! P.S. I'm usually covered in something one of my kids wiped on me too. xo

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  30. Hahahahaha! Oh Elle, this was such a fun read! I'm with you...I'll never be a "cool" blogger either...but that's okay. We can stick together!
    xoxoxo

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  31. Elle!! You do not have to be young and a size negative 0 to be a 'cool' blogger! You are gorgeous and have one of the best blogs I know! Not to mention one of the most unique diy posts, which to me is cool because no one else I follow does those!! Great post, all the gifs made me smile :)

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  32. This post cracks me up because I am the same way!!! But the thing is, I think you're cool! And you are a blogger I can relate to, I can't relate to most beauty/fashion bloggers because their stuff is so expensive and they have zero personality. So that makes you even cooler! And after reading this I am thinking we have to be long lost sisters!

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  33. I really enjoyed this post. It totally made me laugh...especially about the resting b face, because I can relate to that. haha Kudos to Kristen Stewart for making that more socially acceptable.

    ...and, you are cool!

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  34. Lol this post made me laugh so hard! I feel like I would do these things too and I def have "resting b face" all the time! I don't know why or how to change but besides sitting with a huge fake smile on my face 24/7. I swear I'm not mean either! People think I'm mad and its just my normal face! ugh! I have def accidentally told a fellow blogger she "got around" when meeting her for the first time since I'm so eloquent with words. I can def relate to you on a lot of these things. Thanks for adding some humor to my day :)

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  35. We would be fast friends. Hello, resting bitch face, love to wear a good bargain find, and are real = my kinda gal! ;)

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  36. You just became real to me :) I think most women relate to all the reasons why we don't feel cool :)

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  37. Ha, I think all these things MAKE you totally cool. That "cool" girl you described? I don't want to be friends with her. I'm too awkward for her. But you? I totally want to be friends with you.

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  38. Love this Elle! I can relate to the anxiety thing as well! Trust me when I tell you if I was cool enough to show up to that type of thing I would have similar stories! Lol xo

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  39. The fact that you're not cool and awkward and you admit it is what makes you extra cool in my book. The air of constant perfection is what keeps me from truly enjoying many beauty (and mom and DIY) blogs and you being realistic and normal and down to earth is one of the many reasons you're the only one I read regularly.

    Thank you for sharing! And I'm #sorrynotsorry for laughing at you falling down.

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  40. Haha! But you're so down-to-earth, and that's why we love you!

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  41. You are great the way you are elle and i love you and your blog so much...you dont have to look like that to be in my goodbooks :*

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  42. omg!!!so funny post...i love your blog

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  43. haha! This is hilarious. If I actually was cool enough to attend events, I would be the same way. For what its worth, I think you're totally cool!

    Brooke
    www.pumpsandpushups.com

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  44. hahaha love this post! I like your beauty advice because I feel like you're more on my level (i.e. day jobs, clothes from Old Navy and Target, spill things haha) so I could manage to do the beauty things you're doing. Not so much with the "famous" beauty bloggers. Liiike I couldn't afford the ingredients they're using, or find the time to do all this..

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  45. Loved this and all the funny pictures. I have yet to attend a blogging event but it's okay to stand out and be yourself!

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  46. hahaha I love this soooo much. I'm a total newbie at blogging, but so relate!

    Morgan
    www.yellowdoordiaries.blogspot.com

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  47. That was a really funny post! I love seeing the other side of bloggers and more of an insight into their life. I'm glad you can look back on those situations and laugh at them now, even though at the time you may not have felt they were so funny. Those kinds of things happen to all of us, but not everyone is willing to share them! Thanks for being real. I appreciate that, and I cannot wait to hear the Lil Wayne story---come on, 2,000 followers!!

    Kisses from Buenos Aires xx
    http://amateandarottweiler.blogspot.com.ar/

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  48. Elle, you are one of the most down to earth bloggers I know, I respect you so much for always being yourself. I think you are a cool blogger :)


    Forever Alixandria Blog

    Forever Alixandria instagram

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  49. As a clumsy person, you had me at the slip and fall. I generally don't generalize but it's hard not to feel that the most popular bloggers and vloggers fit a particularly profile (and this doesn't necessarily meaning looking exactly the same - but being the "same" in ways that are not as obvious, maybe?). Anyway, I totally feel you. No worries, I'd rather have somehow blowing powdered sugar in my face then flipping their hair at me any day! :-) xo

    Beauty Isles | An Island Girl's Beauty and Lifestyle Blog

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  50. Hahaha! You're awesome. Oh and I totally have resting b#### face so I feel you on that girl.

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  51. And this is why I love u even more.... U are precious!! Don't ever change!

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  52. The cool bloggers are just as human, just good at hiding it on their blogs ;) Which is WHY I choose to read blogs that showcase imperfections, because we are all imperfect!

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  53. bahahahah...love this. ps. i totally think you're cool.

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  54. We love this so much Elle!! You always have the best stories and this was definitely no different. We're just waiting for that lil wayne story now!!

    xx 365hangers

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  55. You are so damn cute, girl! I think that you're beautiful and genuine, which is a winning combination! This is honestly one of my favorite posts by you because it's SO easy to relate to! I definitely get blog envy at times, and have to remind myself that the way we portray ourselves online is sometimes different from how things actually are (and then there are just those gorgeous bitches who are always on point)... I'll be hanging with you, laughing at ourselves any day over that! xox

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  56. Aaah I loved this! And let me tell you, us "uncool" people have to stick together. I just CANNOT with cool people, they are intimidating. I have RBF too, but usually forget to smile, so I just look like a B. Whoops!

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  57. You are great just the way you are and we love you because you are unique and approachable:)

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  58. This is awesome, and I love it! I 100% feel the same way when I go to blogger events. My hope right now is that I bump into you at an Atlanta event and that we can, at the very least, be awkward together.

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  59. This was a really cute post! I too suffer from RBF but I can't bring myself to fake a smile...so no one ever talks to me. Though at blogger events they do because everyone is so outgoing but in real life I get left alone mostly. Which I appreciate most of the time!

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  60. Oh, I adore you. Can I just tell you, that you are the only beauty blogger I truly stick with? I love your posts. You are real and I think you are gorgeous! And I am the most awkward, clumsiest person so I understand the mishaps. I so get it.

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  61. Ahahah I love you! You go girl!

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  62. Oh puh-lease! I bet it's not half as bad as you say it is! That said, this was really fun to read, super entertaining :-D Well written!

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  63. Elle - you are super cute and 100% cool! And YES the ability to laugh at yourself makes you SO cool! Love this post. The last part = hilarious!

    Cheers! Erica
    www.pumpsandpushups.com

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  64. Ha such a funny post and I can totally relate, and I'm sure we're not the only ones :) xx

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  65. Hi Elle,
    Don't be so hard on yourself! As a 40 year old professional & mom, I may not be your target market nor the best indicator of 'cool' however, I check -in with you often for tips on make-up etc. I've always been "less is more" gal but as I get a bit older I notice I need a bit more to look bright and polished. In fact, because of your recent post on the "Just Bitten" lip, I found a beautiful, rich blackberry stain that I pair with my usual nude; it has created a beautiful "natural" deep colour that suits the season perfectly. I wouldn't have thought to switch things up if it weren't for your knowledge. I'm thankful!
    You're witty, sophisticated, gorgeous and modest, a lovely and rare combination.

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  66. Seriously I love this because I often times feel this way, but you have a fab blog and you always look amazing and I think a little kid food on the clothes makes you look real. Who can be as polished as those gals all the time anyway? Definitely not me. Keep doing what you're doing!

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  67. This post was too funny, girl- and I have to respectfully disagree- I find you to be way cool! :) Wish we lived closer so we could meet up!

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

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  68. This cracked us up! You just keep it real and there's nothing wrong with that!! That's what makes you cool. :-)

    Jayme & Mendi @ Her Late Night Cravings

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  69. You are so like me, Elle, and you are definitely cool in my book! I wish we could meet up in real life!

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  70. your cool in my book....I read your blogs but hardly ever have time to respond...but keep the good work up":)

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  71. Omg.. hahaha such a fun post.. loved reading every bit of it :)

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  72. Elle - love your honesty and humor on this! I feel like all bloggers feel like this from time to time, so putting it in writing for all to see is awesome! I hope to see you at a blogger event soon :)

    --Kelly & Meg
    www.peachtreeroadies.com

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  73. Aww Elle, you're a cool blogger! Really enjoyed reading this post! =D

    NEW POST on http://whattostyle.blogspot.com/

    Instagram | Twitter | Bloglovin

    xoxo,
    Jessica

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  74. I think you are cool.

    I usually have some sort of food on me too. I just don't have it together.

    My husband has the resting face. Everyone always thinks he's upset. It's just his face.

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  75. Great read! You are cool just for putting yourself out there.

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  76. OMG this is the cutest thing ever and to me, I think your a pretty cool blogger. I hope you reach 2000 soon because I want to hear this lil wayne story!

    Nina
    http://curvymod.blogspot.com/

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  77. The food and conversations thing happens to me, too! And, only a cool blogger would write a funny post like this :)

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  78. I feel ya girl!!! I've yet to even go to a Blogger function. Hopefully the next time there's one in ATL, we can plan to go together! I think you're cool!!! ;)

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  79. I'm done LOL so hilarious!! You being you is what makes your blog so successful. Keep at it girl!

    xoxo

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  80. I love you and your blog! I am totally not a cool blogger either.

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  81. I think you are cool! I haven't been to any Blogger/YouTube events. Nothing like that ever goes on around here where I live. I'm pretty shy though so I'm sure I'd feel super awkward - yikes!

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  82. Oh.. total truth Elle. I feel like this a lot to... that's my most of my favorite bloggers are girls who are in an office 9-7 and do most of their blogging/life on the weekends.

    What I like about you is that you're relatable. You have an excellent blog because of your hard work.

    7% Solution

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  83. I Love your posts! Your personable, always respond to my questions and I feel like I know you!

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  84. Love this!! :) Great post

    www.fashionistastyle1.blogspot.com

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  85. Love this. I love real blogger over the fake ones.

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  86. Ha ha, Elle!!! This was absolutely hilarious! You're the Jess of Beauty Bloggers -- which is clearly the BEST! OMG, cannot believe your period started right then and there. What the HELL!?! The reason you're the coolest is because you can laugh at yourself and you are who you are - you don't try to be "cool", which is the epitome of not being cool at all. And hey - mad props to you for even attending blogger events! The idea kicks up my shyness and nervousness to fugue state levels, lol! However, if I ever did run into you about town, I would DEF talk to you no matter what was in your hair, but I'd try to wait until you were done eating, lol! :)

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  87. You crack me up! I think most of us who aren't rich and don't look like models feel that way. Maybe all of the not cool bloggers should get together and have our own conference! lol

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  88. DYING. One day, we'll meet and be awkward together.

    http://www.somethingmonumental.com

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